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Post by Harrison Hahn on Jun 28, 2014 15:58:32 GMT
I was only nine years old, I loved Shrek so much.
I pray to Shrek each night. "Shrek is love" I say, "Shrek is life."
My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion
to Shrek. I called him a c**t.
He slaps me and sends me to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts.
I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm...
It's Shrek! I was so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my swamp."
He grabs me with his ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready.
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek.
He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much,
but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering.
I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt
with his love. My dad walks in.
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says, "It's all ogre now."
Shrek leaves through my window.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
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Post by Lobster Man on Jun 28, 2014 18:58:07 GMT
You messed up.
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Post by pikmin4™ on Jun 29, 2014 4:00:11 GMT
>Be me
>Enjoying a healthy lunch of onions and onion juice
>Sister walks in
>"Ew, onions!"
>In the middle of cutting an onion
>She gags and tells me I'm gross
>Sick and tired of her farquaad bullShrek
>Flip knife around in my hand and throw it at my sister
>Knife goes through her eye socket
>Sister screams and falls to the floor gushing blood all over the floor
>Kneel down and whisper into my sister's ear
>"What I'm doing is a sweet mercy compared to what Shrek's going to do to you"
>Shrek kicks in the door and walks in
>Tell Shrek about my sister's blasphemy
>Shrek grimaces and picks up an onion from the kitchen counter
>Grabs my sister by the collar and roars at her
>"EAT THA FOCKING ONION, LASSEH!"
>Sister refuses because they're smelly
>Shrek roars again and punches her in the gut
>"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME, LASSEH?!?"
>Sister coughs up blood and refuses again
>Shrek beats my sister to death with the onion
>Shrek looks up at me
>"Sorry about that, laddeh"
>Tell Shrek I understand
>Bitches gotta shrekognize
>Shrek is love, Shrek is life
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Post by Lobster Man on Jun 29, 2014 13:37:23 GMT
>Be me
>Enjoying a healthy lunch of onions and onion juice
>Sister walks in
>"Ew, onions!"
>In the middle of cutting an onion
>She gags and tells me I'm gross
>Sick and tired of her farquaad bullShrek
>Flip knife around in my hand and throw it at my sister
>Knife goes through her eye socket
>Sister screams and falls to the floor gushing blood all ogre the floor
>Kneel down and whisper into my sister's ear
>"What I'm doing is a sweet mercy compared to what Shrek's going to do to you"
>Shrek kicks in the door and walks in
>Tell Shrek about my sister's blasphemy
>Shrek grimaces and picks up an onion from the kitchen counter
>Grabs my sister by the collar and roars at her
>"EAT THA FOCKING ONION, LASSEH!"
>Sister refuses because they're smelly
>Shrek roars again and punches her in the gut
>"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME, LASSEH?!?"
>Sister coughs up blood and refuses again
>Shrek beats my sister to death with the onion
>Shrek looks up at me
>"Sorry about that, laddeh"
>Tell Shrek I understand
>Bitches gotta shrekognize
>Shrek is love, Shrek is life |
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Post by pikmin4™ on Jun 29, 2014 16:26:15 GMT
I was working at McDonald's
A customer orders a Big Mac
He tells me to hold the onions
I was displeased and put onions on it anyway
I then proceeded to spit in his burger, for disrespecting Shrek
The customer sees me spit in his burger
And then complains to the manager
I get fired on the spot
I then go home and pray to Shrek
I tell him what happened at work
I then hear a whisper
"Don't worry, your problems will be ogre soon."
I wake up the next day and turn on the news
There's a story on a double homicide
My ex-manager and the customer were the victims
The anchorman says both were beaten to death with an onion
I then hear another faint whisper
"They should have checked themselves...
before they Shreked themselves."
It's never ogre...
Shrek is love
Shrek is life.
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Post by Lobster Man on Jun 29, 2014 17:08:18 GMT
I was working at McDonald's
A customer orders a Big Mac
He tells me to hold the onions
I was displeased and put onions on it anyway
I then proceeded to spit in his burger, for disrespecting Shrek
The customer sees me spit in his burger
And then complains to the manager
I get fired on the spot
I then go home and pray to Shrek
I tell him what happened at work
I then hear a whisper
"Don't worry, your problems will be ogre soon."
I wake up the next day and turn on the news
There's a story on a double homicide
My ex-manager and the customer were the victims
The anchorman says both were beaten to death with an onion
I then hear another faint whisper
"They should have checked themselves...
before they Shreked themselves."
It's never ogre...
Shrek is love
Shrek is life. Lol, the 3rd one is awesome. |
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Post by pikmin4™ on Jul 10, 2014 20:12:24 GMT
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Post by Nender on Jul 10, 2014 22:13:37 GMT
"I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH AN ONION!"
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Post by pikmin4™ on Aug 16, 2014 17:55:49 GMT
"I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH AN ONION!" |
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Post by pikmin4™ on Aug 27, 2014 0:12:21 GMT
NOOOOOOOOOO THEY WERE DELETED!
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Post by Nighthero on Aug 29, 2014 2:42:57 GMT
NOOOOOOOOOO THEY WERE DELETED! What were deleted? The videos? |
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Post by Whitekirby9 on Aug 30, 2014 4:16:25 GMT
LOL
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smileyshoes
Mr. Usaji
I am an original Domo Animatiors called SmileyShoes, you may have remeber me! I think you understand
Posts: 16 
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Post by smileyshoes on Sept 25, 2014 16:18:00 GMT
I was only nine years old, I loved Shrek so much.
I pray to Shrek each night. "Shrek is love" I say, "Shrek is life."
My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion
to Shrek. I called him a c**t.
He slaps me and sends me to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts.
I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm...
It's Shrek! I was so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my swamp."
He grabs me with his ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready.
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek.
He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much,
but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering.
I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt
with his love. My dad walks in.
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says, "It's all ogre now."
Shrek leaves through my window.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
shrek |
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Post by pikmin4™ on Sept 25, 2014 19:03:16 GMT
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smileyshoes
Mr. Usaji
I am an original Domo Animatiors called SmileyShoes, you may have remeber me! I think you understand
Posts: 16
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Post by smileyshoes on Sept 27, 2014 14:12:08 GMT
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Post by Nighthero on Sept 27, 2014 19:42:17 GMT
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smileyshoes
Mr. Usaji
I am an original Domo Animatiors called SmileyShoes, you may have remeber me! I think you understand
Posts: 16
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Post by smileyshoes on Sept 27, 2014 20:51:44 GMT
"I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH AN ONION!" THE SADDEST STORY I HAVE EVER SEEN "Its never ogre, Shrek is love... Shrek... is life...* |
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Post by ♪Kwillz♫ on Oct 9, 2014 19:21:04 GMT
guys.....shrek has made it into my real life. basically at my school, the student government holds this thing where the students vote for the Halloween costumes for the principal (who's a BIG guy) and vice principal (whos a lady). so basically the student government chooses the options and i'm in it...they suggested SHREK AND FIONA O.O and out of ALL THE OTHER SUGGESTIONS, that made it in first place (most of the student gov doesn't even know the truth behind shrek is love shrek is life.) AND THEN THE PRINCIPAL APPROVED OF SHREK. I don't know what's going on guys but shrek is everywhere for me irl.
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Post by ♪Kwillz♫ on Oct 14, 2014 21:06:09 GMT
Seriously guys, I don't know what's going on anymore....my drama teacher, who's like a 30 year old woman, just now today referenced shrek. wow. just wow. SHREK IS EVERYWHERE.
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Post by pikmin4™ on Oct 14, 2014 22:20:58 GMT
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Post by funnywitch on Oct 15, 2014 13:54:36 GMT
I once heard a dramatic reading of, and yes, you are hearing me right:
Goku is love, Goku is life.
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Post by ♪Kwillz♫ on Oct 22, 2014 21:10:19 GMT
guys.....shrek has made it into my real life. basically at my school, the student government holds this thing where the students vote for the Halloween costumes for the principal (who's a BIG guy) and vice principal (whos a lady). so basically the student government chooses the options and i'm in it...they suggested SHREK AND FIONA O.O and out of ALL THE OTHER SUGGESTIONS, that made it in first place (most of the student gov doesn't even know the truth behind shrek is love shrek is life.) AND THEN THE PRINCIPAL APPROVED OF SHREK. I don't know what's going on guys but shrek is everywhere for me irl. |
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Post by funnywitch on Oct 22, 2014 21:12:45 GMT
Everyone at my school shudders when they hear Shrek.
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Post by sofía on Nov 9, 2014 19:38:33 GMT
Me Likey
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Post by pikmin4™ on Nov 9, 2014 22:42:35 GMT
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Post by Nender on Nov 22, 2014 19:25:40 GMT
>be 16 at new highschool
>months pass, still no friends
>people ignore me, bully me
>decide to host a movie night to make friends
>people show up but dont like the movie
>they tease me the next day in school>no options left but to try another movie night
>20 people show up just to make fun of me
>put on my favorite Jim Carrey movie
>they actually like it>next day in school people start defending me
>"Hey don't pick on anon, he's pretty cool"
>Have a bunch of friends now
>no one liked me until i put on "The Mask" you are awesome if you get it.
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Post by Lobster Man on Dec 4, 2014 13:29:16 GMT
>be 16 at new highschool
>months pass, still no friends
>people ignore me, bully me
>decide to host a movie night to make friends
>people show up but dont like the movie
>they tease me the next day in school>no options left but to try another movie night
>20 people show up just to make fun of me
>put on my favorite Jim Carrey movie
>they actually like it>next day in school people start defending me
>"Hey don't pick on anon, he's pretty cool"
>Have a bunch of friends now
>no one liked me until i put on "The Mask"you are awesome if you get it.
Um... Not sure how this was realated to Shrek but... Ok. Also, why was there a picture of Bane there? |
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Post by Nender on Dec 4, 2014 21:10:22 GMT
>be 16 at new highschool
>months pass, still no friends
>people ignore me, bully me
>decide to host a movie night to make friends
>people show up but dont like the movie
>they tease me the next day in school>no options left but to try another movie night
>20 people show up just to make fun of me
>put on my favorite Jim Carrey movie
>they actually like it>next day in school people start defending me
>"Hey don't pick on anon, he's pretty cool"
>Have a bunch of friends now
>no one liked me until i put on "The Mask"you are awesome if you get it.
Um... Not sure how this was realated to Shrek but... Ok. Also, why was there a picture of Bane there? The mask. "No one knew who i was until i put on The Mask" (the mask is a movie) |
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Post by Lobster Man on Dec 5, 2014 2:48:42 GMT
Um... Not sure how this was realated to Shrek but... Ok. Also, why was there a picture of Bane there? The mask. "No one knew who i was until i put on The Mask" (the mask is a movie) I know. I got the joke. The Mask is a Jim Carrey movie. But why was Bane there? This guy belongs there.  |
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Post by †††Ｔｊ Ｌａｓｅｒ Ｓｈｅｐａｒｄ††† on Dec 5, 2014 19:59:36 GMT
i re-did this post in Gizoogle's textilizer.
I was only nine muthaFarqin years old, I loved Shrek all muthaFarqin day.
I pray ta Shrek each night. "Shrek is love" I say, "Shrek is game."
My Farqin daddy hears me n' calls me a playa. I knew da thug was just jealouz of mah devotion
to Shrek. I called his ass a cold-ass lil c**t.
Dude slaps me n' sendz me ta chill. I be bustin up like a biatch now n' mah grill hurts.
I lay up in bed, straight-up cold. Y'all KNOW dat Shrek, muthaFarqa! I feel suttin' warm...
It aint nuthin but Shrek! I was so horny.
Dude whispers up in mah ear "This is mah swamp."
Dude grabs me wit his ogre hands, n' puts me on mah handz n' knees. I be ready.
I spread mah ass cheeks fo' Shrek.
Dude penetrates mah butthole. Well shiiiit, it hurts so much,
but I do it fo' Shrek. I can feel mah booty tearin n' eyes watering.
I wanna please Shrek yo. Dude roars a mighty roar as he fills mah butt
with his Farqin love. My Farqin daddy strutts in.
Shrek looks his ass straight up in tha eye n' says, "It aint nuthin but all ogre now, nahmeean?"
Shrek leaves all up in mah window.
Shrek is love. Right back up in yo muthaFarqin ass. Shrek is game.
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probably from before Domo shut down. i recently resized most of the emojis so easier to view on mobile and added a few new ones as well as a web icon a little Domo for the site. 
